As the tumultuous presidential campaign heats up to unprecedented proportions, I can’t help but wonder what the world would be like if pets, as opposed to people, could run for president.
So I came up with 10 thought-provoking reasons why companion animals would make far better leaders of our country than humans.
1.) A cat would never press the nuclear button. She’d just swat at it for hours.
2.) A dog would not argue with members of Congress. He’d merely sniff their butts, and then spend the rest his administration playing with them in the doggie park.
3.) A parrot would not sign an agreement she didn’t fully agree with due to pressure from her cabinet. She’d line the bottom of her cage with it and poop on it.
4.) A betta fish would not be interested in world dominance. He’d just need his own small little territory, and to be left alone.
5.) A bunny rabbit would be great at balancing the budget, as long as the budget consisted of carrots.
6.) A cat would be keenly interested in the activities of the movement “Mouse Lives Matter!”
7.) A hamster would get the wheels of government fully in motion, and get a lot of exercise in his cage while doing so.
8.) A cat would not go head-to-head with leaders of other countries. He’d just sleep on their heads.
9.) If a political detractor were to accuse a dog president of chasing his tail in regard to matters of legislative importance, that could be taken literally.
10.) If pets were president, there would be no wars, no world strife, no discrimination, no oppression, no hatred. They wouldn’t care about anyone’s political affiliation, gender, race, national origin, religion, financial status, or any other such matters that so divide we silly humans. They would merely provide us with unconditional loyalty and love…and the world would be a far better place.
Pets for president!