DEA Warns of ‘Stoner Bunnies’ if Pot is Legalized in Utah

Rastafarian-BunnyWhile Utah lawmakers are considering a bill to legalize marijuana for medical use, a special agent for the DEA warned that this could result in the state being overrun with buzzed bunny rabbits.

If passed, Senate Bill 259, which was recently introduced by Sen. Mark B. Madsen, would enable people with medical conditions that could benefit from the use of cannabis to use, grow and cultivate pot for medicinal purposes.

Meanwhile, DEA Special Agent Matt Fairbanks – who is a member of a special marijuana eradication team – warned a Utah Senate Panel that this measure could result in out of control stoner rabbits.

Fairbanks experienced the effects that pot has on cottontails while raiding backwoods marijuana growers in the mountains of Utah, where he came into contact with, “Rabbits that had cultivated a taste for marijuana.”

He added that wasted bunnies tend to become overly gregarious. “One of them refused to leave us, and we took all the marijuana around him, but his natural instincts to run were somehow gone.” (Hate to break it to you, dude, but I think the little guy just wanted his stash back.)

Despite Fairbanks’s warnings, the Senate Committee passed the measure by a 3-2 vote.

If fully passed, I expect the rabbit population of Utah to be sporting Bob Marley T-shirts, listening to Grateful Dead albums and depleting the state’s carrot crops due to a wicked case of the munchies.

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

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